In response to Writing 101 Day 9 task “Today, write your post as a letter. Approach it in any way you’d like!”
This letter is intended for you, I know I could have sent this to you by email, however I feel this is more for myself than it is for you. Perhaps, someday you will read this letter and understand my compulsion for writing this. Maybe you do not understand which most likely will be the case! As I said in the beginning, though this letter is intended for you, it is written more to satiate the torrid ocean of thoughts in my mind! Regardless of if you will take a moment to sit down and read this or not, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for everything you have done, and for everything you have provided me with.
You definitely are wondering what it is that I am thanking you for? You see, I have a lot to thank you for. Since I never got a chance to say this while trying to escape from the prison that was my life with you, I am revealing all of it now!
Where do I start? And how do I say it? I do not know. In any case, I am going to give it a shot and start from the very beginning!
You made me fall in love with you and fall in love, I did. Big time! With that you taught me what the beautiful feeling of being in love is. Now that I know how exquisite that feeling is, I am hopeful of finding it again! For that education, I thank you!
Most couples my age went out having fun, on dates, traveling the world when you abandoned me in the house to go out yourself with your friends, with your mother, for your work. That abandonment taught me how it feels to be marginalized! Something I promised I will never do to another human being! For that lesson, I thank you!
You tore me away from my family and asked me to choose between you and them. I always chose you! My imprudent choices taught me the importance of learning to make a decision with your brain rather than your heart! For that learning, I thank you!
You abused me in every way possible emotionally, mentally and physically. While it aggrieved me in many ways, it also taught me the importance of standing up for my rights, for my freedom. For that training, I thank you!
You ripped me apart financially which in turn forced me to become more ambitious! That ambition landed me in a job which takes care of my every need. For that very important career lesson, I thank you!
You pulled me out of my protective shell, made me face all kinds of adversity and forced me to grow up. For that exercise, I thank you!
Most of all, I want to thank you for giving me the biggest joy I have ever known, you gave me Motherhood! You gave me my son. For that I can never repay you! For that, I whole-heartedly thank you!
I mean it when I say that I cannot thank you enough for bringing my son into my world. By doing that, you have given me a reason to wake up every morning; you have given me a purpose in my life. You have given me a hope for the future!
By deciding to stay away from our son’s life, you have allowed me to surpass my own expectations of the kind of parent I can become. You made me realize that I can play the role of a mom and dad to a tee! You gave me the realization that there is no income higher than watching his little face light up with a bright smile every time he looks at me, the pride in his eyes when he calls me mom! I wouldn’t trade that for anything in this world!
So thank you for going on with your life and being selfish enough to never try to reach out to him. As thankful as I am for giving me these life lessons, I wouldn’t want you teaching them to my son. For, in every way that you taught me these lessons, I learned a much healthier way of teaching them to my son…with love and with compassion!